Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Fake-Cakes for Fake Holiday! Happy Valentine’s!

okay so the title is a bit dreary. but really people. valentine’s day? what a crock. please, if you’re out there, heed my advice: use EVERY day to express your love. not just this coming friday.

i won’t rant too hard, especially since i caved for the masses and made a pink + heart + sweet concoction that could be mistaken for a valentine’s treat (you’re right… it’s hard to look past the timing of said non-holiday treat). check it out for yourself – pink lemonade fake-cakes:

BTG - Pink Lemonade Fake Cakes -003
this is the easiest “cake” you will ever put together. it requires minimal ingredients and no baking – i call that a win. they are pretty darn tasty. it’s kind of like pie with extra crust (which is what we all want anyway).

actually i should probably back track – i tried to get fancy with the hearts and chocolate drape, and actually made a mess. but you can just skip over that part.

the main cake is illustrated below – just layer graham crackers with a mixture of sweetened condensed milk and lemon juice. let it melt together overnight, then cut up some pieces. or not – you could stack higher and make look like a legit cake, which is superbly elegant.

BTG - Pink Lemonade Fake Cakes
if you’re in for a hurtin’, you try to punch out a bunch of hearts with a cookie cutter… you slowly realize this is moving way too slowly and is making quite the mess, so you quickly resort to cutting small “petit fours” instead - so. much. easier.

BTG - Pink Lemonade Fake Cakes -001
then, you try to get reaaaal fancy and make them actually look like petit fours by covering them in chocolate. you try the poured fondant method and you destroy them. nearly all of them. you get smart, finally, and try scooping a bit of chocolate on the cakes and spreading it around. but that takes forever. you give up, and just eat them.

BTG - Pink Lemonade Fake Cakes -002
so, are you ready?

chocolate covered pink lemonade fake-cakes (makes a bunch)

long piece of foil
heart cookie cutter (or other shapes, or large knife)


1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup lemon juice
2-3 drops pink gel food coloring gel (or few drops of red  liquid food coloring)
1 box honey graham crackers
16 oz pink baking chips (or any of your favorite colors or chocolates)
2-3 tsp coconut oil (or other variety)

the fake cake:
  1. mix together the sweetened condensed milk, lemon juice, and food coloring until well incorporated.
  2. on a long piece of foil, lay out your graham crackers 4 long and 2 deep (if you’re planning on keeping it a cake, you can always narrow the dimension and stack higher – much more grand). i dotted the foil with some of the milk mix to keep the grahams steady but this made it difficult to lift up the pieces later – pick your poison.
  3. pour a generous half cup of the milk mix onto the graham crackers and spread evenly to the edges.
  4. add another layer of graham crackers, then milk mix, then crackers, and lastly milk mix.
  5. gently wrap the foil up the edges and tent over the top, and leave in the refrigerator overnight. this right here is good enough to serve. just slice like a cake and hand out – it’ll look like you baked a hundred layers and labored for hours. mwahah.
get fancy:
  1. using a cookie cutter or knife, cut the cake into your desired shape. have patience if you’re going the cookie cutter route! otherwise, 1-inch squares make for cute petit fours.
  2. melt your baking chips over a double boiler (or in the microwave). stir in the oil.
  3. to cover small 1-inch squares, use about 1 tbsp of chocolate – scoop on top of cake and use spatula to spread down the four sides. allow to set. repeat. over, and over, and over again.
  4. i welcome anyone with a chocolate covering method that is faster than the above – i tried to just pour it over a wire rack but that definitely didn’t work!
eat, love, and hit the gym next week!
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